Our very own sweet Kenny, a budding interior designer, recently advised me to paint my bedroom this gorgeous, deep berry/blush color. I told him that felt scary! My walls were white, and that seemed safe. He asked me if I was playing to win, or playing to not lose. Oof.

How many of us go through our lives playing it safe, trying so hard to not lose that we never take any risks, never allow ourselves to love fully — but at least we’re not losing, right?


I get it. We’ve all been hurt, we all have trauma. But if we allow our past to inform our future, we will never LIVE. Here’s some examples of what that might look like:

• I am choosing to stay in an unhealthy relationship because at least I know what to expect
• I’d rather be alone, because at least I’m safe
• I’m staying in a job I hate because at least there’s benefits
• I’m hiding who I really am so my family doesn’t disapprove

Basically: I am choosing to stay in my own cycle of dysfunction because it’s familiar and risk-free. THIS IS NOT TRULY LIVING.

Being able to fully live to win requires healing, and that can feel scary. But I promise you’re worth it. And no one can do it for you. What would your life be like if you chose to develop into your best, highest functioning self? If you chose to take control of your own healing, on all levels? I promise you, the rainbows and sparkles and love that accompany this kind of life are so magnificent it’s hard to comprehend.

So let’s cut the bullshit on this playing it safe kind of life, shall we? There’s no progress in playing it safe, or playing to not lose. Playing it safe = stagnation. Playing to win requires more risk, but produces unimaginable rewards, growth, and progress. You create your own reality, so whether you believe you can or you believe you can’t – you’re right.

I am rooting for you. You got this.

With freshly painted blush-berry walls that make my heart sing,