I recently have developed a sapiosexual crush on Mel Robbins. If you haven’t heard of her, her main teaching is that motivation is bullshit. When I first heard this in an interview with her, I thought it sounded lame. WRONG. Here’s the gist:
Mel’s life was garbage, and she was feeling pretty sad about not having the motivation to change it. She’s a smart lady, and one day realized that we are hardwired to avoid doing things that are difficult or that pose risk, out of self-preservation. Aka we love to stay in things that are safe and familiar — even if they’re dysfunctional & unhealthy. Basically, if you’re waiting to feel ready to take the next step (to quit that job, to leave that relationship, etc) you’re never going feel ready. It just doesn’t happen like that. You only begin to feel ready by taking those initial steps. With action, the readiness comes.
BUT HOW TO TAKE ACTION WHEN FEELING SCARED???
Great question! Mel’s advice came from a depressed night of watching a NASA rocket take off on the news. Inspired by that rocket, she decided that the next morning she was going to, quite literally, *blast off* out of bed and make some changes. When she awoke the next morning, in her mind she counted down.
And somehow, it worked. There’s something about the counting down that switches things in your brain (xoxo, science) and neurologically presents an easier path to making a different choice. It’s helpful to already have things in place for your new path to be as smooth sailing as possible.
It works with thoughts as well. Since learning this space rocket method, when I’ve noticed myself having a self-defeating thought, I say “5…4…3…2…1…I LIVE IN MAGIC LALA LAND OF RAINBOWS AND SPARKLES!”
And my brain shifts, neurons traveling down a well-trodden road suddenly screech to a stop, aware of a new (or previously hidden) intersection of the fresh possibilities of a life beyond my wildest desires. Almost like the colors of winter transforming into spring, with bursts of tie dye brushstrokes and watermelon candies.
So if you’re stuck, or waiting for the motivation to change or take that next step, allow me to gently remind you that MOTIVATION IS BULLSHIT! You’re never going to feel ready. So cheers to NASA space rockets, neuroscience discoveries, and the courage to count down from 5-1. I promise the life that awaits you is bursting at the seams with more vibrancy, more color, more love, and more dancing than you can imagine. In a river of dreams, threads of freedom sparkle in the sunlight, daring you to be brave.
I’ll meet you there!